Area woman eaten by giant mutant squash plant

Pictured above is Sarah Brennan, moments before a heinous attack by what appears to be an agricultural experiment gone horribly wrong.

Brennan, 42, was a neophyte gardener who had only recently learned to tell the difference between the cantaloupe and watermelon plants she and her husband, Kevin, planted in their Westminster garden a few weeks ago.

The Brennans little suspected that the beautiful, 4” diameter flower shown here...

…was that of a rare, man-eating mutant melon/squash hybrid.

Ironically, Brennan had just photographed her husband standing next to the unusually large plant, commenting that it seemed poised to sneak up on anyone who might choose to take a nap in the nearby hammock.

Little did she realize that she herself would be the nefarious mutant’s first victim.

“I’m too shaken” to comment, said Kevin to this reporter.

In other news

Baby eggplants, and jalapenos, in today’s CSA haul. Also, garlic, tomatoes, lettuce, arugula, mizuna (don’t ask), santosai (ditto), green beans, red dandelion, and zucchini. The zucchini still had its flower on, which looked remarkably like that of our mutant friend.