Saturday, December 13, 2008

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?

So I'm sitting in my big-ass chaise lounge chair, laptop on my lap, cat next to me, minding my own business, when I am startled to the point of involuntarily shrieking by an explosion behind me. I thought the furnace had lost its mind, or that a tree had fallen. The cat vanishes into thin air. I look over my shoulder out one of the living room windows to see that the window is gone - both panes of glass have a foot-and-a-half diameter hole in them. There are shatters of glass EVERYWHERE. Kevin comes out of the study and we're both just, "what the fuck?!?!?". Then I notice a clump of feathers in front of the woodstove. And then finally the mystery is solved: 35 feet away, by the front door, lies a dying ruffed grouse.

Two hours later, we're finally done with the neighbors' shop vac; Kevin's taped a plastic sheet over the window and has knocked out most of the remaining glass, both cats have rematerialized, and I think my pulse is more-or-less back to normal. I hate to think what would have happened to me if I had been sitting at the end of the couch in front of that window. Shudder.

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